The Girl Who Twisted Fate’s Arm, by George Saoulidis

Allow me to make a little introduction: Author, this is Proof-reader; Proof-reader, please meet Author, who is desperately in need of you. Oh, and Author, a little later I'll introduce you to Editor, but I think it's a bit too early for that just yet.

There are 68 chapters in this book.

The first 15 chapters take up 46 pages on my e-reader.

I found (there may be more) 18 errors in those 46 pages:

1. A woman is riding a motorbike and is described as "gripping the steering wheel".
   • I've never seen a motorbike with a steering wheel instead of handlebars.
2. "…she didn't dare say or move any closer."
   • Say closer? Huh?
3. "She knew how she was supposed to sound like".
   • So, she knew how she was supposed to sound, or she knew what she was supposed to sound like, but "how she was supposed to sound like"!?
4. "…the charts in almost every music steaming site."
   • Er, I think that should be "streaming".
5. "She grabbed her bicycle's steering wheel and imitated her father's voice."
   • Oh, so bicycles have them as well as motorbikes, now.
6. A personal assistant is "dressed in an expensive and tailored business suit plus a modest skirt."
   • That must both look weird and be pretty impractical (not to mention rather warm).
7. An office contains "specially-madeglass cases".
   • A space would be good there.
8. "My company will not make it though the next five years".
   • Here, have an r.
9. The people were "watching through tightly closed windowsills."
   • Firstly, how do you close (or open) a windowsill? Secondly, how do you see through one? They're generally made of solid wood in my experience.
10. "Orosa gave a fewcomments".
    • Hey, have another space.
11. "She turned her back to her and went to sleep."
    • Two sentences later she's talking again. Hm, some sleep (and no, the sentence in between did not indicate the passage several hours and her awakening).
12. "I'd feel reallybad if we weren't you know."
    • I'm sure that could so with both a space and a comma.
13. "She was dead-tired, having rode through half of Athens with her bicycle".
    • Hm, the past tense would traditionally be "ridden", and I think "on her bicycle" makes more sense than "with".
14. "She gazed Salamina across the water."
    • A conjunction might be useful there, I think - try "at".
15. "The rebetes of the old times didn't live in mansions, with servants and caviar."
    • I wonder what a rebete is (or was).
16. "'WTF?' she protested in acronym."
    • WTF is an abbreviation, not an acronym - can you pronounce it as a word?
17. Someone is having her hair done. "Every follicle had been pulled, dyed, washed, ironed, stretched."
    • Hm, doing those things to the hairs I can imagine, but not to the follicles…
18. The next sentence is that "Every part of her head was acking."

That's quite enough for me. It would be hard enough to put up with this quality of writing if the story were engrossing, but it certainly isn't, so I'm stopping here.

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