Bumfuzzle, by Patrick Schulte

ISBN: 9780615220338
Amazon ID: B003DTMSMS

What do you get if you ask an administrative assistant, and a financial trader, who live in Chicago and know absolutely nothing about boats, to come up with a name for a boat which means "to bewilder or confuse, to describe something you don't understand"?

Bumfuzzle, that's what.

What do you get when they write a book about buying a catamaran and setting off around the world (still knowing almost nothing about boats)?

Bored, that's what.

This is a dull story about irresponsible people taking on a dangerous challenge and getting through it with far more luck than skill. Much of the story tells you how boring it is being at sea for days or weeks at a time, with nothing to do but wait for some wind or watch the auto-pilot. It's well written, because it's boring too.

They go to some worthwhile places, and in some cases spend a lot of time there (weeks, or months), but they have no idea how to describe them in a way that's interesting for the reader.

I got 35% of the way through before deciding that no matter where they went or what they did, the story wasn't going to get any better.

Chapter 3: "We are averaging just ninety miles a day, or less than four knots per hour."

• I told you they knew nothing about boats.

Chapter 5: "The biggest problem with wing-and-wing is that you need to keep the wind directly behind you. If it shifts too far one way, then the screecher starts flapping wildly, and if it gets too far the other way, behind the main, we'll have an accidental gybe."

• They may not have known anything about boats, but they seem to have picked up some vocabulary. It's just a pity they don't bother to mention what these things mean when they first use terms which the average reader (this book cannot possibly be written for people who know about sailing) is unlikely to find familiar.

Chapter 7: "Palmerston Atoll consists of a few tiny islands around the edge of a circular coral reef." … "Palmerson Island is the only inhabited island…"

• I really don't think the island and the atoll would have such similar, but subtly different names…

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